different kind of visit

I spent all day yesterday cleaning out C's old room making it into a cozy guest room for K, my sister, who arrives from Georgia today. She and her two precious boys were here just a few weeks ago for a purely pleasure visit and it was wonderful. This visit, however, is different because we have an agenda. The agenda is my father. Since Mom passed away two years ago from leukemia (still seems so surreal, especially when I see it put so matter of factly in writing), Dad's aloneness and health weighs very heavily on me.

He suffers from something called, of all things, Binswanger's Disease. It's a type of vascular dementia caused from years and years of ridiculously high blood pressure. It's a rare disease because most people's high blood pressure responds well to medication but Dad has been on as many as 3 different meds at a time to control his. And, his weight. He's been heavy most of his life and that further exacerbates (sp?) the problem. To further muck it all up is his vision. He's legally blind in one eye and over the last few years, has lost more and more vision in his "good" eye.

But the thing is, he's only 73 and the "dementia" has affected things only a daughter very close to him would know. Things like paying bills, keeping up with dr. appts., which medicine's for what, things like that. Well, it's also wierdly affected his mobility, too. He gets around very slowly. Way harder on me than his health, though, is his aloneness. He doesn't have any friends to speak of, he was one of those guys who worked, worked, worked. Mom had her church friends and Dad mostly had his job associates. So now, he's just there, in the house, day in and day out. Whatever socializing he does, apart from one monthly function at a nearby church, involves me and my family. So, like I said, it weighs pretty heavy on me.

That's why my sister, who is 6 years younger than me, and I am very close to, is coming in. She, Dad and I are going to visit a couple of senior living facilities that offer independent living as well as assisted, if and when the time comes. I'm pretty nervous about it because even though Dad says he's o.k. with visiting them, I have no idea how he really feels and I'm afraid that everyone else will be ancient, that it will cost more than Dad will be willing to spend, and, plus, who wants to go and do something like that with their father? I mean, yuck.

So, that, as well as going through a lot more of the accumulated stuff over at Dad's house will be what this visit will be all about. It'll be great to see her again but very different. Just part of getting older, I suppose.

bout of the black dog

In on of my many different blog descriptions, I mentioned that I have struggled over the years with depression. I loved the comment from fellow blogger, jane, when she said that she had been having a bout of the black dog lately also (why is it that brits can make even depression sound romantic?!)

Anyway, things are looking up somewhat and in a bizarre way, I think it's due to a yucky side effect of a new medicine I'm on, Abilify. Turns out that I'm one of the 8% of patients who experience the side effect of "akathisia" which Wikipedia describes as "a syndrome characterized by an unpleasant sensation of inner restlessness that manifests itself with an inability to sit still or remain motionless..." I blogged late one night about not being able to sleep, wondering if it was due to a new dosage of thyroid medication (yes, I'm quite a mess aren't I?) but now think it's related to the Abilify. I really thought I was losing it, couldn't figure out why I couldn't sleep, didn't enjoy reading anymore, and always felt antsy. After I did some research on Abilify, and came across that term "inner restlessness", I figured out what was going on, called my dr. and stopped taking it a couple of days ago.

So why are things maybe looking up? Well, for me, depression goes hand in hand with a feeling of being easily overwhelmed by things that I could handle easily before, like, for example, maintaining a fairly orderly home. I've really let things slide in that regard over the past few months and since I'm one of those people who function best in a well-ordered environment, it has been difficult. However, with this new restlessness that I'm experiencing comes an inability to sit and do nothing, so I decided to at least have something to show for all this freneticism and have begun cleaning out kitchen cabinets like nobody's business! I've found all sorts of things that I thought had mysteriously disappeared, the cabinets are looking great, and hopefully I'll be a more cheerful dinner maker in a more organized space.

My doctor told me that the akathisia should go away in 3 to 4 days. I'm just hoping that I can get the kitchen finished before I lose this new-found energy and maybe the fact that I've made some forward progress will keep me motivated to keep on going with the organizing. I'll keep you posted!

deja vu toys

This is a basket of board books that I saved from M's toddlerhood. I always loved the way that my mother-in-law had kept some of my husband's toys for her grandkids to play with. I could tell it was really special for J to see his kids playing with the same toys he and his siblings had played with all those years ago and I decided that I would do the same thing. I've got a pretty big age gap between kids (23, 20 & 14). These books are in good condition because they were new to M, my 14 yr. old.; the ones that B and C had were definitely too worn to save!

These toys are 24 years old and my grandaughter S (babykins) loves playing with them. The little yellow kangaroo toy was given to me at my 1st baby shower. It was my first baby "toy" and it really brought home the fact to me that a baby would soon be living in our house. I would sit and nudge it, listening to the musical chimes inside it over and over. Lifting the lid off of the box they had been stored in was like going back in time. The first thing I did was pick up little kangaroo and listen to those sweet little chimes and when babykins dances to the green radio's tune "Toyland", it's deja-vu, all over again!

what I like about Houston

My last blog really trashed Houston and, actually I love Houston; I mean I was born and raised here. So, in the spirit of making amends, are some of my Houston likes:

Cicadas ~ lovely, quintessential summer sound

Miller Outdoor Theatre ~ even tho I haven't been since I was a kid, what a cool place to see free outdoor plays during the summer

The beautiful cerulean blue sky

Downtown ~ many, many moons ago I worked in the Chase Tower; was called the Texas Commerce Tower when I was there and I'll never forget working on the 60th-something floor

The Spaghetti Warehouse ~ my first ever alcoholic buzz was experienced here! Not too long ago, J and I took the girls there for dinner, so it's been in my life a loooong time

West I-10 and the new Katy tollway ~ I heart this newly re-engineered road

The huge U.S. and Texas flags along same freeway ~ as I drive toward home on this road, I'm heading due west. I love watching these majestic flags wave from the south during most of the months but during cold spells, they fly so beautifully in the other direction, straight out of the north. There are at least 20 of these beauties, it's really quite cool.

Our mild winters

The Galleria, The Container Store, Anthropologie, Memorial City Mall, etc., etc.

Driving on the 610 loop through the Galleria area at dusk

It's nickname, H-town

How close we are to Galveston ~ what a cool, pirate-y kind of beach town ~ mega memories, the most recent being just two weeks ago when all of us made a trek down for the day!

O.K., that's about it for now. No roaches tonight, so I am feeling very magnanimous (sp?) towards my birthplace. Anyone else out there have Houston "likes"?

hopes for this week

Absolutely sick of triple digit heat. It just drains me and makes me super irritable. Not good for someone who feels like they're on the brink of irritability most of the time these days.
Dad's got two dr. appts. tomorrow that we'll be going to. The first one is the neurologist; I don't think there are any major developments (small insert here ~ just spotted a gigantic tree roach gallopping across carpet and successfully smushed him with flip-flop, those creatures are yet another gross thing about summers in Houston) but there are certainly no improvements to speak of, either.
Then it's on to the eye dr. to see why ever since he's gotten his new glasses, he hasn't been able to see as well. I'll have to ask the neuro. if maybe eye problems could be due to a "mini" stroke that may have occurred.
Anyway, that will take up most of the day on Monday. Crummy way to start the week. It's just depressing and, of course, time consuming. I really hope that Oh crap - roach didn't die!!!!!!!!!
Well, I can't find him and am quasi-phobic about those creatures. Forget planning the week, I'm just going to sit here and type while looking into that corner. Maybe what I saw was, like, his death dance and he's well and truly dead now. omigosh those things are worse than disgusting.
Hubby put chemicals out today all over the yard for ants and fleas (doncha just wanna pack up and move to Houston?!) so this guy must be seeking refuge. Ha. Fat chance.
I'm so mad! I came out to living room to curl up on the sofa with my glass of iced tea next to me (yes, even tho it's late, it's my "treat"), my cozy throw over my legs, dog snoring lightly, prepared to IT'S O.K. --- I JUST TOTALLY KILLED HIM. I used Hubby's Teva this time. Said Teva will stay on top on dead roach til morning when I'll get him to clean it up for me.
O.K., I'm done. I'm not going to edit this blog or anything, just hit publish and be done with it.

maybe you really ARE a vampire!

So, in order to take the prescription drug, Accutane, my 14 yr. old has to have monthly blood tests to make sure she's not pregnant, answer questions online saying that she will not GET pregnant, and bring an 'I Pledge' card to the pharmacy stating, once again, that she is not and will not be getting pregnant. Evidently, there are HUGE risks to an unborn child if the mother is on Accutane, so I applaud the government, drug company, or whomever, for being so vigilent.


It is, however, a hassle. We have to take M in every month for a fasting blood test and within 7 days have to pick up the prescription or else we get 'kicked out' of the program and have to start the process all over again. But, there's a hitch ~ the child has no visible veins. It's crazy but she really doesn't. And, there's more. I loathe getting blood taken, I get all clammy and faint feeling, and panicky to get the needle out and, unfortunately, M's the same way. Combine that with how hard it is for them to find a vein and actually draw it, and you've got drama. Lots of drama.


We went for M's 1st test this past Monday morning but since I let her sleep in, by the time we got to the lab it was already around 10:00 a.m., too late I now know, for someone whose tummy is so empty. After the guy stuck her twice with no luck, poor M's complexion took on a decidedly greenish hue, and I rushed to hold a trash can up by her in case she needed to...you know. It was just awful so we all decided that we'd come back the next morning, earlier this time, and try again. We did just that but again, no luck. The technician (I hate the word phlebotomist) said that M needed to drink tons of water, that maybe that would help. We're under a heat advisory here in Houston so it's quite possible that she was a little dehydrated, making it harder to locate a good vein.


So, once again, after drinking copious amounts of water throughout the preceding day and night, we were back at the lab this morning with high hopes. They tried her arm first. Nada. So then they went to her hand and after a few stress filled minutes, the good old red stuff started to do it's thing. We were all, lab employees included, so glad that it finally worked and that it was over with. It was really pretty funny. Especially when the technician found out that it was a monthly test, and said "Oh hell, you're coming back?!"

As M and I got ready to leave, I was joking, saying how relieved I was that they were able to get blood from her, that I had begun to worry that she really WAS a vampire (during the height of her Twilight obsession, she wanted nothing more). I was just really yukking it up and then realized, one step through the open door of the waiting room, that the room was no longer deserted as it had been when M and I first arrived. Nope. There were about 7 or 8 people sitting in there, privy to all of our crazy goings-on, and my loud declarations about my daughter not being a vampire. I don't embarrass easily anymore but I will say that because of the people's reactions which were none, nada, zilch, just studiously avoiding looking at us, that I did feel a bit uncomfortable. That is until we closed the door behind us and then we couldn't stop laughing, of course.


So, that is my funny blood story. Oh, and I don't know if all that blood talk got us in the mood or what, but guess what movie we watched tonight? Twilight!

nothing sweet about it and other random thoughts

You know Shakespeare's famous quote...parting is such sweet sorrow? I've said goodbye to my sister today and there's nothing sweet about it. She and the boys have been here for over a week now and now that they've gone, it's back to reality. Back to face all the things that i've let slide, such as: bills, dr. appts., phone calls, laundry, errands. As Snoopy so famously puts it ~ bleeuuchh. Or something like that.



1st random thought: why, when I follow someone's blog, does my profile picture show up as a silhouette instead of the pic that actually shows up on my profile? Also, when you click on that silhouette, my name appears, Denise McAndrews, instead of my cute blog pseudonym (sp?), Jeriden? Even wierder, I followed myself just to see how it all worked and, lo and behold, my regular profile picture showed up, instead of the depressing silhouette. hhhmmm, as hubby likes to say ~ a real head scratcher.



2nd random thought: Jeriden comes from..... Jeri Denise. I'm one of those people whose parents named them knowing full well that they would never go by their actual first name. I grew up hating the sound of "Jeri" basically because if someone called me that, that meant that they didn't know me, and it was probably a teacher or something, AND since I was painfully shy, I probably wouldn't correct them and tell them that I went by my middle name. I certainly don't mind it now, and have learned to love being called "Jeri" because well, just because. Because it's who I am, I guess, and my sweet parents named me that and because when my mom was drifting in and out of consciousness before she died, she didn't ask for Denise, she asked for Jeri Denise and that puts a whole new light on the previously disliked first name, ya know?



3rd and final random thought: I'm so impressed that I figured out how to put a flickr badge on my blog. I don't know that I'll do much with flickr but I think the little blinky badge is adorable!

parades, flags, & potato salad

We did the 4th of July thing today ~ neighborhood parade, hot dogs, hamburgers, flags, fireworks, the whole shebang! (no pun intended). D brought 21 mos. old Sydney over at 8 this morning so we could help decorate her stroller. J and I had gotten up early to make a batch of breakfast tacos for everyone. K, the boys, and Dad were also on hand. It was so fun gobbling down the yummy breakfast, listening to march music on tv, and snapping pictures of Sydney in her red, white, and blue finery. D made the cutest bows and "independence wand" for her. I'm thankful that I've got such a devoted daughter-in-law.

J and I walked with the intrepid parade walkers as far as the official starting point, took lots of pictures, visited with neighbors, and just in general, soaked up all the patriotic ambience. Then we waved bye and hightailed it back home to start getting things ready for our post-parade lunch.

Hubby's grown niece's family came over to join us for lunch and to see K and the boys. There were 15 of us; and with everyone talking at once, was a wee bit chaotic at times but I loved it. The food was great, and the company was even better. It's so fun having a little one around ~ you just sit around and are completely entertained by every little move they make.

After a while, the kids decided to go to the neighborhood pool, and K and I went back over to Dad's to go through boxes. That is still very much a work in progress but I'm proud of what we've been able to do so far.

O.K., it's 10:30 p.m. now and my eyelids are feeling a bit droopy. so, unless Saturday Night Live is really, really funny, and wakes me up, I'm outta here. :)