maybe you really ARE a vampire!

So, in order to take the prescription drug, Accutane, my 14 yr. old has to have monthly blood tests to make sure she's not pregnant, answer questions online saying that she will not GET pregnant, and bring an 'I Pledge' card to the pharmacy stating, once again, that she is not and will not be getting pregnant. Evidently, there are HUGE risks to an unborn child if the mother is on Accutane, so I applaud the government, drug company, or whomever, for being so vigilent.


It is, however, a hassle. We have to take M in every month for a fasting blood test and within 7 days have to pick up the prescription or else we get 'kicked out' of the program and have to start the process all over again. But, there's a hitch ~ the child has no visible veins. It's crazy but she really doesn't. And, there's more. I loathe getting blood taken, I get all clammy and faint feeling, and panicky to get the needle out and, unfortunately, M's the same way. Combine that with how hard it is for them to find a vein and actually draw it, and you've got drama. Lots of drama.


We went for M's 1st test this past Monday morning but since I let her sleep in, by the time we got to the lab it was already around 10:00 a.m., too late I now know, for someone whose tummy is so empty. After the guy stuck her twice with no luck, poor M's complexion took on a decidedly greenish hue, and I rushed to hold a trash can up by her in case she needed to...you know. It was just awful so we all decided that we'd come back the next morning, earlier this time, and try again. We did just that but again, no luck. The technician (I hate the word phlebotomist) said that M needed to drink tons of water, that maybe that would help. We're under a heat advisory here in Houston so it's quite possible that she was a little dehydrated, making it harder to locate a good vein.


So, once again, after drinking copious amounts of water throughout the preceding day and night, we were back at the lab this morning with high hopes. They tried her arm first. Nada. So then they went to her hand and after a few stress filled minutes, the good old red stuff started to do it's thing. We were all, lab employees included, so glad that it finally worked and that it was over with. It was really pretty funny. Especially when the technician found out that it was a monthly test, and said "Oh hell, you're coming back?!"

As M and I got ready to leave, I was joking, saying how relieved I was that they were able to get blood from her, that I had begun to worry that she really WAS a vampire (during the height of her Twilight obsession, she wanted nothing more). I was just really yukking it up and then realized, one step through the open door of the waiting room, that the room was no longer deserted as it had been when M and I first arrived. Nope. There were about 7 or 8 people sitting in there, privy to all of our crazy goings-on, and my loud declarations about my daughter not being a vampire. I don't embarrass easily anymore but I will say that because of the people's reactions which were none, nada, zilch, just studiously avoiding looking at us, that I did feel a bit uncomfortable. That is until we closed the door behind us and then we couldn't stop laughing, of course.


So, that is my funny blood story. Oh, and I don't know if all that blood talk got us in the mood or what, but guess what movie we watched tonight? Twilight!